Here’s what WE see when we detach and observe the narcissist closely. It’s striking how fantasy prone a narcissist is and how self centered and self-absorbed, and what a radical difference between how the narcissist sees themselves compared to how they really are. For example, the narcissist:
• Turns every conversation to him or herself.
• Expects you to meet his or her emotional needs but not vice versa.
• Is oblivious to the impact of their negative comments about you.
• Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you and tells you what you should and should not feel.
• Focuses on blaming you or others instead of taking responsibility for their own behavior.
• Expects you to anticipate their every need.
• Is highly absorbed in their own hobbies, interests, to the point of ignoring your and your children’s needs.
• Constantly seeks to be the center of attention.
• Inappropriately teases and ignores the hurt he/she causes.
• Refuses to acknowledge his own mistakes. Can’t handle criticism and uses anger to shut it down.
• Has an attitude of “anything you can do, I can do better.”
• Engages in one-upmanship to seem important.
• Acts in a seductive or flirtatious manner and pours on the charm when in public.
• Expects to be admired…may use false modesty to fish for compliments.
• Thinks he has to have the latest, or the “biggest” and “best.”
• Very status oriented
• No sense of gratitude, but rather thinks YOU owe THEM.
• Fake persona, acts like the “perfect” person, husband, or father, wife, mother to gain admiration.
• Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what they want.
• Sees himself above the rules and doesn’t expect to be penalized for not following them.
• Shames your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings.
• Is unable to see things from any point of view other than his/her own.
• Wants to control what you do and say—tries to micromanage you.
• Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own.
• Has poor insight
• Has shallow emotions and interests.
• Exploits others with lies and manipulations.
• Uses emotional blackmail to get what he/she wants.
• Engages in physical, psychological, or sexual abuse….makes you feel used.
30 UGLY THINGS A NARCISSIST DOES THAT SHOW WHO THEY **REALLY** ARE
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